Tuesday, December 2, 2008

ramblings of my scattered mind

The time spent riding a car has proved for me to be one of the most valuable opportunities to reflect on life and the choices that I have made. Even with the noise of the radio, talking and paying attention to the road. I find that the quiet thoughts of my mind radiate from my mind are often scattered. While some of them reflect back on the events of the day but most of these thoughts are the quiet pondering and emotions of my heart. Most recently I have been think about my family. My Mom has given me so very much and yet I give her so little. I think that must be the way of parents. Which brings me to the gospel. My Heavenly Father also have given me so very much. I am so blessed to have the gospel and to be able to live at time when I have the freedom to practice my beliefs.

Why is it then when I rationally know that I am blessed do I feel that my life is not exactly as I would have liked it to have turned out. Which makes me sound ungrateful for all I am blessed with. So then I question my testimony, am a standing on the firm ground of the gospel, or am I standing on the edge of a prescibus that lead straight to the cold dark world that is far from solid ground. I question so often whether I am strong enough to withstand the storms that are upon me. I am sure that no matter what I do it will work out. The consequences the choices may be difficult, but the reason and the rhyme all seem to flow together in a jumble of emotional baggage that is currently being hauled around called the past.

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